Why Feeling Resentful Doesn’t Make You a Bad Mom

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I love my kids, but sometimes I just want to run away for a day”? Then the guilt hits, and you start wondering if you’re a terrible mom. Here’s the truth: resentment doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re human.

Motherhood is a beautiful gift, but it also demands more than most of us were ever prepared for. Resentment creeps in when needs go unmet and boundaries blur. Like a tea kettle left too long on the stove, the pressure builds until it whistles. In this post, we’ll talk about why resentment shows up, what it’s really trying to tell you, and how to release it without shame.

1. The Root of Resentment

Resentment isn’t about not loving your family—it’s about emotional depletion. Studies show that mothers spend, on average, 98 hours per week on childcare and household duties, often leaving little room for themselves. That imbalance breeds frustration.
💡 Tip: Pause and ask: “What am I giving that I no longer have to give?”

2. Why Guilt Makes It Worse

Many moms believe that wanting time alone makes them selfish. But guilt only deepens resentment. As Brené Brown says: “We can’t practice compassion with other people if we can’t treat ourselves kindly.”
💡 Tip: Replace guilt-driven thoughts (“I should be grateful”) with compassionate ones (“I deserve rest too”).

3. Resentment as a Signal, Not a Sentence

Resentment isn’t proof you’re failing—it’s a signal that something in your life needs attention. Think of it as your inner alarm reminding you: “Hey, you matter too.”
💡 Tip: Try journaling, “What is my resentment pointing me toward?” Answers often reveal unmet needs or boundaries.

4. Breaking the Silence

Resentment grows in isolation. Talking about it with a partner, friend, or support group helps normalize the experience. Clinical psychologist Dr. Alexandra Sacks reminds moms: “Naming what you’re feeling doesn’t create division—it creates intimacy.”
💡 Tip: Share honestly with one trusted person. Start with: “I feel… because…”

5. Practical Ways to Release Resentment

• Micro-rests: Take 10 minutes for yourself without apologizing.

• Delegate: Ask for help with small tasks.

• Reframe: Instead of “I have to,” try “I choose to” where possible.
  💡 Tip: Create a “resentment reset” ritual—deep breath, quick stretch, and one honest affirmation: “My needs matter too.”