You Are Not Your Past: How to Heal the Old Stories That Still Hold You Back
Partager
Do you ever feel like you're trying to move forward, but something invisible keeps pulling you back? That “something” is usually a story you didn’t choose—but have been living inside for years.
It’s time to write a new one.
Your Past Is Not a Life Sentence
We’ve all internalized messages from childhood, trauma, or heartbreak:
“I’m not good enough.”
“I always mess things up.”
“I’m too much.”
These beliefs don’t define you. They’re echoes from a version of you that was just trying to survive. But you’re not her anymore—and you get to decide what comes next.
How Old Stories Keep Moms Stuck
Motherhood can trigger old wounds. A crying child might remind you of never being heard. A partner’s silence might bring up abandonment. Your need for rest might be silenced by guilt you inherited.
Unhealed stories show up as:
-
Perfectionism
-
People-pleasing
-
Explosive reactions
-
Chronic self-doubt
The past doesn’t just live in memory. It lives in your nervous system. And healing it changes everything.
3 Steps to Rewrite Your Inner Narrative
-
Identify the Pattern
Notice when your reaction feels bigger than the moment. That’s a story resurfacing. Ask yourself: “Where have I felt this before?” -
Separate Fact from Feeling
Feelings are real—but they’re not always true. Just because you feel unworthy doesn’t mean you are. -
Speak to Yourself Like You Would Your Child
You would never tell your daughter she’s not enough. So why speak to yourself that way?
What the Research Says
A 2016 study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that individuals who engage in narrative reframing and self-compassion practices report significantly lower levels of stress and depression, and higher emotional resilience—especially when healing from trauma.
Quote to Live By:
“You are not the things that have happened to you. You are the person you choose to become.” — Brené Brown
You are not broken. You’re becoming. The past may have shaped you, but it doesn’t have to define your future. You get to decide what story you want to live from now on—and healing starts the moment you choose to stop surviving and start living.